Hugs and Kisses

I take my kids for granted.
More than I should.
Because I shouldn't at all.
They are a gift!
From God.
And I am so blessed!

But sometimes I yell at them.
And sometimes I ask them to "go away and just give me space." And by sometimes, I mean JUST now.
Sometimes I ask them to go to their room for a bit.
And sometimes I forgot that I sent them up there.

Sometimes I wonder what we would be doing different now if we didn't have 3 boys.
I wonder what I would do with all my free time.
What did I use to do with all my free time?

Sometimes, after a long day, I just need to get out of the house. And away from "being a mom."
There are times that I long for 8 pm (bed time) more than I should. Especially when it's only 4 pm...

Sometimes, I am too tired to get out of bed in the middle of the night to find out why someone is crying. I'm tired. I want to sleep without being interrupted.

I want to get groceries without 3 kids in the cart.
I want to go shopping...just to walk around Target and look at clearance stuff...without 3 kids in tow.
I want to walk into Starbucks without having to take my kids out of the car.
I would love to write an email without stopping 5 times in the middle of it to answer questions, get milk, change a diaper, and tell someone to stop doing something.
I would love to talk on the phone without feeling like the other person can hear my crying/fighting/whining kids in the background.
I would love to sleep in past 7:30 in the morning. Just once in a while.
I would love to go for a run. Whenever I want. Without pushing a stroller with 3 kids in it.
I would love.......

But then I don't think I could have all of these things and still be a mom.
And it's great being a mom!
When they snuggle in bed with me first thing in the morning.
When they laugh at my "jokes."
When they kiss me and tell me they love me for no reason.
When they learn new words and how to use them.
When they get excited over the littlest things.
When they have morning breath and bed head.
When they start saying please and thank you on their own.
When they learn how to use the potty. And do the happy dance about the pee in the potty.
When we have dance parties in the living room.
When they snuggle with each other.
When they wrestle with each other.
When I find out the woke up early and got in bed together just to "tell each other questions."
When they play in the bath together. And then race around naked after bath.

It's these moments that remind why it's so much better to not make it all about me.
It's these moments that help me to understand love a little bit more.
It's these moments that make me forget the labor pains.
But it's these moments that make the pain so much great when I hear of the loss of a little one.

And when we find out another has lost their precious little one...a little one that could just have easily been our own...our minds race and our hearts break and we, or at least I, hug a little tighter and kiss a little longer and remember how TRULY blessed I am to be a MOM!

I gotta go do some more huggin' and kissin'!