Birthdays and Stuff

Micah just had his 5th birthday. He is growing up so fast. We are trying to do things right as parents. But I'm sure there are so many things we are screwing up! Just not sure how long it will take before we see it all more clearly.
I have often wondered who birthday parties are for. This started as we approached Micah's first birthday and I shared my thoughts and feelings then. Since the kids are too young to remember, why do we do it? So, for the most part, we decided not to. We had special people involved in Micah's life over for his first birthday, but I felt pressured.
And as long as the boys haven't noticed or asked or felt deprived, we haven't pushed it. Last year we did ask Micah what he wanted and all he wanted was a close friend to come over and race him. Literally. In the middle of winter. On a nearby college track. But it was what he wanted.
This year, thought, I started to feel the pressure. Mostly because Micah is now in school and we are getting invited to the other kid's parties. So that means we need to have one and invite all of them, right? So now I have to figure out when and how and how much it's going to cost and does everyone get invited, and all that junk. And we asked Micah what he wanted. And I talked through it with Matt.

But all Micah mentioned was he wanted a scooter. And Matt said we shouldn't do it out of felt obligation. That made me feel better. My mom was most likely going to be able to come and we knew we could find some fun dates with Micah or family activities to celebrate with him. Something we could do. A memory we could have together. And not just another party. The day or so before his birthday, though, Micah started to get a little upset thinking that no one was going to "come to my birthday." I didn't mention my mom might come, just in case she couldn't make the trip. He kind of equates the "party" with the birthday, even if it's not the day. So, we asked more questions. He wanted chocolate cake with blueberries (eewww) and a scooter. She did make it. She brought a scooter. I made chocolate cupcakes (without blueberries) and we had our own "party" with him. And he got a couple cards in the mail. He LOVES that.

So he felt special. And that's what mattered to me. We'll see what future years hold...but for now I think we'd still like to do away with parties. At least in the traditional sense.