The Junk Knows Where We Live

Spring is finally starting to inch it's way in around here. And by spring, I mean averages in the 50s. And by inching I mean some days it's in the 40s and some days in the 70s. It can't quite decide if it still wants to be Winter or wants to try on Spring for size.

With that, we went out and played in the backyard this weekend for the first time in what seemed like forever. Well, except for the sledding we did in the good snows we had this year...And when I went out with the boys and started looking around, it felt a little like the rapture happened. And we got left behind! How did we get left behind?!?

I don't remember the day we stopped going outside, but from the looks of things now as I step back outside again, it seems as though winter happened overnight around here. And we hibernated for the winter. Without remembering caring to clean up! I mean, empty juice boxes, an empty veggie straw bag, chips for the charcoal grill, army men for the Clash of Clans battle, cars and trucks and balls strewn over the yard. We tried to leave the junk, forget about the junk (and I obviously did a great job of that based on my amazement when I went out to find it all) and move on into winter.

But it always catches up to us, doesn't it?? We can move, change schools, switch jobs, change friends, change boyfriends, attend a new church, try a new workout, get new clothes...but we are still there. We can't leave US. And we can't just walk away from the junk and think it's going to disappear. Or fix itself. Because it's not. And sometimes inevitably that sucks! If there is junk, we can't run away. Even for a season. It will always catch up with us. It knows where we live!

It is so easy to see the junk in others. And to judge them for it. It is so much harder and scarier to acknowledge ours.
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?" Matthew 7

But as the season outside is changing now, so too is my season changing. I am back to being "just" a mom. And I love it. Yes, it gives me more time with my boys. But And it also allows me more freedom and time to do things I might not otherwise do as much, like read and study and listen to podcasts, and learn things in the process about myself. And not always fun things. Hard things. Scary things. Things I see in others and don't want to see in myself. Things that only my Father can change in me. And He can. And He will. Because it says
7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. John 15

The context here for "ask whatever" is in the context of fruit. Fruit of the Spirit. Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control (Gal 5:22-23). And because it says it, I believe it. And as scary as it is to ask, I am asking for change.
And so this is my prayer.
Again.
Because there is never an end to the changing. And there should never be an end to my seeking.